


Tired Together

by Erulisse17



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben Solo is actually an amazing Dad, Canonverse AU, Dadam, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluffy, Gen, New Baby, New Parents, Rey is Kriffing Tired, The Writing Den, dear god i remember how tired i was, lullaby, newborn snuggles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-28
Updated: 2018-09-28
Packaged: 2019-07-18 12:21:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16118351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erulisse17/pseuds/Erulisse17
Summary: Kriff, Rey was tired.It was a deep, in her bones kind of exhaustion, and it wasn't at all fair that she had gone through the equivalent of a speeder crash and then was handed a tiny, completely helpless screaming thing that also looked like it was involved in the wreck, and was told it was now her responsibility. A wonderful and very cute responsibility, but still!And yet, Ben is the only one who can calm the baby. And sing to her. And bring tears to Rey's eyes at how kriffing adorable he is.A new dad canonverse AU fic for Murakamism: Ben is the ultimate doting dad to his newborn baby. Rey falls in love with him all over again. Everyone else is surprised at his gentleness.





	Tired Together

**Author's Note:**

  * For [murakamism](https://archiveofourown.org/users/murakamism/gifts).



Kriff, she was tired.

 

There were days on Jakku where she battled sunstroke and dehydration while lugging scrap from fallen AT-ATs, all so Unkar could scream at her to scrub the burning metal for hours under meager shade before she was allowed to crawl across the sands to her drops of water and remains of portions, only to repeat the whole cycle the next day.

 

This was worse.

 

It was a deep, in her bones kind of exhaustion, and it wasn't at all fair that she had gone through the equivalent of a speeder crash and then was handed a tiny, completely helpless screaming thing that also looked like it was involved in the wreck, and was told it was now her responsibility.

 

Don’t get her wrong, she loved Amali with all her heart. More than her heart, with her entire spirit and soul. The small noises the infant made, the scrunched up faces, the fact that she only opened her eyes enough to deem everyone uninteresting and return to sleep - Rey adored it all.

 

But she was so kriffing tired.

 

Amali woke every few hours, and demanded Rey, and only Rey, to feed her. Supplies were limited at the Resistance base, and while she knew a nanny droid was out of the question (the Model Es were discontinued decades ago, anyway), even the few bottles they had collected from locals Amali found highly unsatisfactory.

 

So she nursed the baby into the late hours of the night, snatching sleep until the next feeding in the wee hours of the morning, trying not to resent Ben for snoring at her in the adjoining room.

 

Ben did what he could, for someone who wasn’t able to produce food Amali would eat. He scrounged up all kinds of food for her from the Resistance canteen, changed and washed Amali’s diapers, gave her time and space to use the ‘fresher and get at least a few moments of solitude.

 

Her eyes snapped open in the darkness as Amali began to cry. Again.

 

And she was just so tired, so exhausted, so desperate to stay in bed and sleep a tiny bit longer, Rey began to cry too.

 

“Rey?” Ben was immediately awake and concerned. “Rey, what’s wrong?”

 

“How can she be hungry? I just fed her-” She bawled, then glanced at the time and broke into fresh sobs. “An hour ago!”

 

Wisely refraining from pointing out that their child might have inherited her constant hunger from her ever-snacking mother, Ben placed a loving hand on Rey’s forehead.

 

“I’ll get her.”

 

Hiccupping, Rey glanced at him. “Are you sure? What if she needs to eat?”

 

“Then I’ll at least hand her to you with a fresh diaper.” He told her, dropping a kiss on her head as he pulled aside the covers of their small bed.

 

She heard him pad over to the small adjoining nursery and coo, “What’s going on, princess? Are your quarters not to your liking?”

 

As he kept up a stream of entertaining hypothetical reasons why Amali might be upset, Rey was slowly lulled to sleep by the rhythm of his low baritone.

 

When she awoke, she stretched noisily and wondered why she felt fresh out of a bacta tank. Blinking, she squinted at the time, her eyebrows shooting up as she realized she had slept for at least four hours.

 

Jumping out of bed, sure that something must be wrong, Rey rushed into the nursery, only to stop dead in her tracks at the sight before her.

 

Ben was slouched in the too-small chair that Finn had found and fixed for them, long legs stretched out, chin on chest, lightly snoring as Amali drooled serenely on his shoulder, tiny hands fisted in her father’s hair, snuggling into his large hands that served as a warm blanket.

 

Both of them let out small sighs of contentment at the same time, and Rey had to cover her mouth to keep from crying happy tears.

 

A soft knock came at the door, before Leia pushed in with a tray of food. “Last night sounded a bit rough, so I thought you could use some-”

 

She fell silent at Rey’s expression, then craned her neck around to see what Rey was pointing at. Leia’s mouth dropped open, tears instantly gathering at the corners of her eyes.

 

After a few moments, Leia leaned toward Rey. “If you ever want to know what love looks like, remember this moment.”

 

Rey, who honestly was rather overwhelmed by the amount of emotions she was feeling, nodded with a gentle smile. “I will.”

 

From that moment on, Amali clearly decided that Ben had earned her favor, and that Rey was only useful for food.

 

They were in the small leadership meeting, BB-8 rhythmically rocking the small bed that contained the baby as D’Acy outlined their needs and possible next steps, when Amali woke from a dead sleep with a piercing cry. Few of the Resistance members could begrudge this small (if very loud) reminder of new life and hope, and so most glanced over to see if Rey needed help when the screams suddenly stopped.

 

Jaws dropped as they saw Ben, Amali now snuggled happily on his shoulder, gently bouncing and rocking as he stood, the harsh lines of his face only slightly softened as he hummed a quiet song.

 

When the shocked silence has stretched out longer than necessary, Rey cleared her throat. “Any word from our sources within New Alderaan?”

 

D’Acy scrambled to look like she hadn’t been staring. “Not yet, but they only made planetfall a few days ago, so hopefully we’ll be able to…”

 

After the meeting ended, Ben whispered to Rey that he was going to try and transfer the baby to her crib in their room.

 

“You wake her, you take her,” Rey warned with a smile, then kissed him softly on the cheek before he left.

 

C-3PO watched him leave with an air of confusion. “I would not have predicted Master Ben to have such skill with calming infants. In fact, I have been running the data and statistically, the odds are-”

 

Chewie interrupted with a growl that of course Ben would be good with cubs, since he considered Ben practically his own cub and had taught him everything he knew.

 

“I fear that the standard raising of Wookie young is not compatible with human-”

 

Walking away from the argument with a fond eyeroll, Rey made her way over to Leia, who was sitting with one hand to her forehead. “Leia, are you- are you alright?” She asked in a tone of increasing alarm at seeing tracks of tears down Leia’s cheeks.

 

Sitting up, Leia wiped her eyes quickly and gave Rey a watery smile. “Yes, yes, I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. It’s just...” The general turned to watch Ben gently bounce down the hall, keeping up the low lullaby, her eyes filling with years of grief and love. “The song he’s humming… He probably doesn’t even realize it, but it’s an old Alderaanian lullaby called ‘Mirrorbright’. My father gave me a music box that played it when I was young, and I used to sing it to Ben when he had trouble sleeping.”

 

Smiling at Rey when she placed a hand on her arm, Leia tilted her head in memory. “I haven’t heard anyone else sing that in a very long time and it… Well. It took me by surprise. That’s all.”

 

As she covered Rey’s hand with her own, Leia leaned in close and told her, “You both have, actually.”

 

Rey blinked as she continued, “Parenting is hard. Especially when they’re so new. Maker knows I had a rough time and we had far more resources than this. But you’ve taken to this so well and Ben…”

 

Glancing down the hall again, Leia shook her head in amazement. “I wouldn’t have thought… He was always so angry, so lost. But now - with you, with the baby - he’s… centered. Calmer. Seeing him like this, well, it’s done everyone a world of good.”

 

Leia cupped her cheek with a soft smile. “I know every second feels like a lifetime now, but trust me. The days are long, but the years are short. Remember that.”

 

Rey nodded, then gave Leia a quick hug before going to check on the rest of her family. Poking her head into the room, she heard the same melody as before, but this time with words sung in Ben’s low, pleasing baritone.

 

_Mirrorbright, shines the moon, its glow as soft as an ember_

_When the moon is mirrorbright, take this time to remember_

_Those you have loved but are gone_

_Those who kept you so safe and warm_

_The mirrorbright moon lets you see_

_Those who have ceased to be_

_Mirrorbright shines the moon, as fires die to their embers_

_Those you loved are with you still—_

_The moon will help you remember_

 

After the last notes faded away, Ben softly closed the door, then jumped at little when he saw Rey.

 

“Oh, there you are. Well, the transfer to the crib was successful, but I’m sure-” He stopped suddenly and looked closely. “Are you alright? You’re crying.”

 

“Hm?” Rey, still slightly entranced by the song, reached up and felt the wetness on her cheeks. “Oh. I guess I am.” Shrugged wryly, she said, “Hormones are fun.”

 

Ben furrowed his brow, then enfolded her in his arms and kissed her lightly on the forehead. “You sure you’re okay?”

 

Burying her head under his chin, Rey took a long, slow breath in, smelling the faint trace of cleaner on his clothes, the now ever-present odor of baby spit-up, and covering it all with his own unique scent that simply told her - ‘Home’.

 

“I love you,” she told him. “And I love how good you are with Amali. You’re a really good dad.”

 

She felt him rumble with a scoffing laugh. “You seem to be the only one who thinks so.”

 

“Everything thinks so, they’re just… surprised is all.”

 

He leaned back to look at her. “Are you?”

 

“Not at all,” she said, honesty and faith filling her voice. “Never for one second.”

 

Rising up on her tiptoes, she kissed him fully, hoping her love and trust in him was evident in her actions.

 

It apparently was, as he started to return the kiss with interest, his hand splaying out against her back and pulling her closer.

 

Once they parted, he raised an eyebrow. “So, since our daughter is actually sleeping, and we’ve already established that you love me, how would you feel about…”

 

“Seriously?” She asked, slightly playfully, but partly in truth as she gestured to her face and clothes. “You think I’m attractive like this? I’m covered in milk and spit-up and snot and probably other things I don’t want to think about.”

 

“Eh, so am I.” He shrugged. “Besides, you’re attractive in anything. And also nothing. Especially nothing.”

 

Rolling her eyes a little, she tugged him down for another kiss, then pointed at him in mock severity. “If she wakes up because of this, I’m blaming you.”

 

Grinning a wide, masculine smile, he hooked her closer and murmured, “I can live with that,” before they both collapsed on their bed, content in the knowledge that there was mutual care, exhaustion, thrill, and love shared equally between them.

 

So maybe she was tired. Maybe it was hard, and might get harder.

 

But - if they were going to be tired, at least they were going to be tired together.


End file.
